my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I think I sprained my soul last night
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
