guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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