two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
