Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
