Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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