If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
