Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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