um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
