Your face is a jimmy john
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
