Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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