Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
