A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
