I don't usually arrange sex via text message
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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