DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
