I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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