Your tits are I can't wait for
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Randomize
