Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
