oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
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