This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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