he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
