You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
