My balls are so social today.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
