I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
