apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
only you would photoshop your dick
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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