dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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