You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
