Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
