you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
