how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
