Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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