God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
