Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
And then he peed in my hair
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