I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
