omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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