anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
