Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
