god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize