guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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