you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
