But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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