just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We have started to decorate penises.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
