Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
