I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
