Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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