i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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