after a month anything with tits is on the radar
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
