...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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