Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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