You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Umm I'm too high to move.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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