i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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