dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
